I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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