East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
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