Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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