Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Randomize
