They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
