Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
