I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
