You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
