You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
