i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
this is an emotional support booty call
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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