just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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