Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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