Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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