My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
