woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
