miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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