jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
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