I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Randomize
