Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
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