No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Randomize
