We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
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