The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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