Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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