I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize