you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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