Porn is love you can see.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
