I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I wish i was in the wii world.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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