Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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