That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
