when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
