What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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