People with herpes should wear stickers.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
