The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
