Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize
