Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
