The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
