Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize
