Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
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