Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
