I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
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