Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize