I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I have feelings that need drinking.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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