I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
