i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
