I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
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