you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Randomize
