I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
