I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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