Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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