Well douche your snatch and let's go!
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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