we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
