A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
