real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize