Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Randomize
