Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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