I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
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