Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
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