check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
