i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
i was born a porn star she said
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
