So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
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