the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Randomize
