I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
