if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
