Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
