What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
