I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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