The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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