Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
