youre lurking in front of me
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Randomize
