no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
