I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
