There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
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